Summer 'break' has arrived.
One year ago, I was nervously packing bags for my summer at the Grand Canyon. Nervously packing, because I had no idea what I was getting myself in to. I was flying solo from Erie to Detroit, to Los Angeles, to Prescott, to Flagstaff, staying the night in a stranger's home, sharing shuttle with a bunch of foreign students on the way to the canyon, then meeting the folks I was going to spend my entire summer with. Long story short, that summer was the best summer of my life.
Today, I'm sitting at a computer screen, delaying the process of unpacking. I'll soon be unpacking bags and boxes that will not be packed up again until my return to school in August. Knowing this makes my heart ache. I want more than anything to be content at home and to thoroughly enjoy quite possibly my last summer at home, but for now, my heart aches.
Despite the achy heart, I was able to come up with a list of things I'd like to do this summer:
- Break my coffee addiction (I'm currently sipping a fat free sugar free decaf white chocolate raspberry latte, in case you were wondering)
- Visit the nursing home more regularly
- Volunteer at LifeCare/His Helping Hands
- Practice my guitar so that I can have some decent skills by the time that I am able to jam with that sweet boy again.
- Cook
- Ride my bike (that's one thing I missed last summer)
- Gaze at the stars
- Find the beauty of nature here and spend time appreciating it.
-Visit my sister in Las Vegas (Donations towards the flight - cash or check - are graciously accepted. Ask me for my address, if you're interested)
- Find a car (Again, donations - monetary or vehicular - are welcome)
There are many more things I'd like to do, but I don't want to set my expectations to high. Better to overachieve than to fail, right?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Three Months = 1/4 of a year
It's been a long time (three months or more) since I've blogged. I'm not an avid blogger, obviously. My postings are sporadic and forced (by myself), most of the time. However, I do think that it is a good thing for me to express the things I've been learning in written form (or typed), as it provides me with a way to look back on what I've learned and how it has changed me.
Here's a conglomeration of things I've been learning:
- One woman spent 20 years recording the things that that made her happy. She published her list as a book titled "14,000 Things to Be Happy About". I've only read through the first twenty, but I've already been considering creating my own list. I'm learning that it's important to acknowledge the good things in life. Too often, people focus on the things that weigh them down - the heartaches, the heartbreaks, the struggles, the hardships, the pains, the temptations, the feelings of defeat. If I'm going to spend all my energy on thinking about things, I'd much rather prefer to focus on the positive.
- I'm learning that I'm not very kind to my classmates. I don't feel like I fit in/belong in the group that comprises nearly every single class I've had for the past three years. I do not want to change my perspective on life simply as a means to feel more accepted or more similar to the group. I do, however, need to let them know that I truly care about them and value their relationships. I haven't been letting them know that I appreciate them. I need to appreciate them, even if the appreciation isn't reciprocated.
- I'm learning that I don't know the Bible. I grew up in the church. I heard the Bible stories. I took two college classes of which the information was focused solely on the contents of both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Yet, I don't KNOW the Bible. It's a sad thing, really. How am I to know who God is if I choose to ignore His word? Why am I so consumed with my daily life that I do not take time to study the word? Why am I so overwhelmed at the thought of trying to figure out the content of the word?
- I'm learning that I cannot depend on people. People make mistakes. People let us down. People are ignorant to the Truth. People choose to ignore the Truth. I am commanded to be in community with the people around me - to love them, to spend time with them, to correct them, to allow them to correct me, etc. However, if I am depending on them to supply my joy for life and give me my self-worth, then I will never have joy and I will never have worth. God is the giver of life - the only one who can supply true joy. What does that mean? I have no idea...I'm still learning.
- I'm learning that I'm not good at managing friends, family, school, and work. No matter how I spend my time, someone will feel left out, out-of-the-loop, betrayed, replaced, disobeyed, not-respected, etc. I've always tried to be a people pleaser. I've tried to give everyone the time I know that they deserve. It's suddenly become draining and it doesn't allow me time to maintain the responsibility of finishing school work as well. So, I decided to take a week and live life how I chose to live it. I decided how I spent my time. I liked it. I was less tired, more refreshed, less weighed down. Now, back to giving people the time they deserve (after all, I do know that I enjoy spending time with people, too).
These few points don't even begin to sum up the past three months, but they'll suffice for now.
Peace. Shalom.
Melissa
Here's a conglomeration of things I've been learning:
- One woman spent 20 years recording the things that that made her happy. She published her list as a book titled "14,000 Things to Be Happy About". I've only read through the first twenty, but I've already been considering creating my own list. I'm learning that it's important to acknowledge the good things in life. Too often, people focus on the things that weigh them down - the heartaches, the heartbreaks, the struggles, the hardships, the pains, the temptations, the feelings of defeat. If I'm going to spend all my energy on thinking about things, I'd much rather prefer to focus on the positive.
- I'm learning that I'm not very kind to my classmates. I don't feel like I fit in/belong in the group that comprises nearly every single class I've had for the past three years. I do not want to change my perspective on life simply as a means to feel more accepted or more similar to the group. I do, however, need to let them know that I truly care about them and value their relationships. I haven't been letting them know that I appreciate them. I need to appreciate them, even if the appreciation isn't reciprocated.
- I'm learning that I don't know the Bible. I grew up in the church. I heard the Bible stories. I took two college classes of which the information was focused solely on the contents of both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Yet, I don't KNOW the Bible. It's a sad thing, really. How am I to know who God is if I choose to ignore His word? Why am I so consumed with my daily life that I do not take time to study the word? Why am I so overwhelmed at the thought of trying to figure out the content of the word?
- I'm learning that I cannot depend on people. People make mistakes. People let us down. People are ignorant to the Truth. People choose to ignore the Truth. I am commanded to be in community with the people around me - to love them, to spend time with them, to correct them, to allow them to correct me, etc. However, if I am depending on them to supply my joy for life and give me my self-worth, then I will never have joy and I will never have worth. God is the giver of life - the only one who can supply true joy. What does that mean? I have no idea...I'm still learning.
- I'm learning that I'm not good at managing friends, family, school, and work. No matter how I spend my time, someone will feel left out, out-of-the-loop, betrayed, replaced, disobeyed, not-respected, etc. I've always tried to be a people pleaser. I've tried to give everyone the time I know that they deserve. It's suddenly become draining and it doesn't allow me time to maintain the responsibility of finishing school work as well. So, I decided to take a week and live life how I chose to live it. I decided how I spent my time. I liked it. I was less tired, more refreshed, less weighed down. Now, back to giving people the time they deserve (after all, I do know that I enjoy spending time with people, too).
These few points don't even begin to sum up the past three months, but they'll suffice for now.
Peace. Shalom.
Melissa
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