Three Months = 1/4 of a year

It's been a long time (three months or more) since I've blogged. I'm not an avid blogger, obviously. My postings are sporadic and forced (by myself), most of the time. However, I do think that it is a good thing for me to express the things I've been learning in written form (or typed), as it provides me with a way to look back on what I've learned and how it has changed me.

Here's a conglomeration of things I've been learning:

- One woman spent 20 years recording the things that that made her happy. She published her list as a book titled "14,000 Things to Be Happy About". I've only read through the first twenty, but I've already been considering creating my own list. I'm learning that it's important to acknowledge the good things in life. Too often, people focus on the things that weigh them down - the heartaches, the heartbreaks, the struggles, the hardships, the pains, the temptations, the feelings of defeat. If I'm going to spend all my energy on thinking about things, I'd much rather prefer to focus on the positive.

- I'm learning that I'm not very kind to my classmates. I don't feel like I fit in/belong in the group that comprises nearly every single class I've had for the past three years. I do not want to change my perspective on life simply as a means to feel more accepted or more similar to the group. I do, however, need to let them know that I truly care about them and value their relationships. I haven't been letting them know that I appreciate them. I need to appreciate them, even if the appreciation isn't reciprocated.

- I'm learning that I don't know the Bible. I grew up in the church. I heard the Bible stories. I took two college classes of which the information was focused solely on the contents of both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Yet, I don't KNOW the Bible. It's a sad thing, really. How am I to know who God is if I choose to ignore His word? Why am I so consumed with my daily life that I do not take time to study the word? Why am I so overwhelmed at the thought of trying to figure out the content of the word?

- I'm learning that I cannot depend on people. People make mistakes. People let us down. People are ignorant to the Truth. People choose to ignore the Truth. I am commanded to be in community with the people around me - to love them, to spend time with them, to correct them, to allow them to correct me, etc. However, if I am depending on them to supply my joy for life and give me my self-worth, then I will never have joy and I will never have worth. God is the giver of life - the only one who can supply true joy. What does that mean? I have no idea...I'm still learning.

- I'm learning that I'm not good at managing friends, family, school, and work. No matter how I spend my time, someone will feel left out, out-of-the-loop, betrayed, replaced, disobeyed, not-respected, etc. I've always tried to be a people pleaser. I've tried to give everyone the time I know that they deserve. It's suddenly become draining and it doesn't allow me time to maintain the responsibility of finishing school work as well. So, I decided to take a week and live life how I chose to live it. I decided how I spent my time. I liked it. I was less tired, more refreshed, less weighed down. Now, back to giving people the time they deserve (after all, I do know that I enjoy spending time with people, too).

These few points don't even begin to sum up the past three months, but they'll suffice for now.

Peace. Shalom.
Melissa