Lesson learned: Feelings of loneliness should not affect my level of joy. I should rejoice continually.
This past Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were probably the worst three days of the school year for me. All my emotions caught up with me - the feelings of dejection, the feelings of being inconspicuous, the feelings of being undervalued. I sat in my room Friday night, tears streaming down my face, wondering why I was experiencing such feelings in the first place. There was no need for these feelings; I have friends who love me, friends who acknowledge my presence, and friends who appreciate me. I wasn't convinced of the truth that night, however.
My self-conscious and bitter attitude continued into Saturday. I spent nearly the entire day alone. A beneficial alone, but an unwanted alone. Sunday arrived, and as I sat through the sermon at church, everything came into perspective for me. Pastor John discussed the topic of "speed bumps of life"; God tests our faith through difficulties/trials, through demands, through dollars, and through delays. To live by faith, I must learn to rejoice continually, obey immediately, give generously, and wait patiently.
Clearly, I have not fully learned how to do any of these. If I had learned by now, I wouldn't have been experiencing the feelings I was experiencing that weekend. How often do I rejoice continually? I do not have to be happy in every circumstance, but I should not be overcome with feelings of dejection; I have the knowledge that God is with me. He wants me. He cherishes me. He gives me my value. Once I can learn to rejoice continually, the others should naturally fall into place - rejoice continually, obey immediately, give generously, wait patiently.
Dear lessons, please keep teaching me...
-Melissa
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2 comments:
Thank you for sharing--it parralles so much with what I am learning. This is a lesson I got hit *hard* with my freshman & sophmore year. Even now it comes back frequently as a reminder to find my solace in God alone.
Ps. I enjoy reading your posts. Life learning = my passion in life.
Wow, thanks for posting that Melissa. I needed to read that, seriously. I've found myself in similar situations here and I have realized there was really no good reason I should have felt the way I did. God's working in you and it's evident. Know that I'm so thankful for you, that I love you, that I miss you, and that I can't wait to see you again. <3
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